First Impressions

My great-grand-daughter (age 1)

Day 1 -  What's going on, in here? It's felt really cramped lately, and now all this commotion. Ouch! Whatever it is, it'd better stop real soon. Hey, wait a minute! You don't really expect me to get out through there, do you? Stop it! Wait, I said!  Give me a... Whoooosh!

Wow! Is that what being born is all about? Where am I, anyway? First of all, I don't like being thrown out. Second, nobody told me, when I first came in, that I'd have to move out some day. Besides, it's freezing out here, and much too noisy.

Hey, wait a minute, what do you think you’re doing, yes, you the big one all in white and green? Who said you could hold me by my feet and hold me upside down? OK, OK, enough already, I am breathing, all right?  Yes, my lungs are filling with the awful air in this awful room.

Let me tell you, this whole birth business is grossly overrated. I was much more comfortable inside. It was warmer and quieter. Everything looks different out here, sounds different, feels different, and even tastes different. It's scary, and I wish I were still back inside.

Day 30 -  They tell me I am a whole month old, now. Life is rough for me, right now. I am not sure I am better off than when I was inside, but nobody asks me. Mommy and Daddy take good care of me, but I am not sure I have completely adjusted to being on the outside. Sometimes, the white stuff I drink doesn't settle down so easily, and I start hurting inside. I have to make a lot of noise, and carry on to get their attention. Then I have to wait till they figure out what the problem is. Finally, they hold me straight up against their chests while patting my back to make the pain go away, and then I get to go back to sleep.

I like sleeping best. The next best thing that makes me happy is cuddling. Serious cuddling, not the kind to just make me be quiet so they can put me back in my crib. But like when they really mean it, and my insides feel all mushy and warm, and I feel like, wow, this is really worth all the trouble of coming out.

I am not sure all the weird noises they make when they see me, talk to me, or pick me up, are really necessary, but if it makes them happy, why make trouble?

Day 180 -   We just came back from what they said was my six-months check-up. Mom made all those silly, happy noises again, so I guess I passed whatever it was. The people in the white coats are OK, but I hate the part where they stick me with needles. They claim it's so I won't get sick with other things, but I don't have a clue how it works.

I’m discovering there are definite advantages to being my age. First, I sleep less, so I have more time to do other things like look around and learn about my new world. I get to go places a lot more, too.

Also, I have figured out that I have some power around here! For instance, I’ve learned how to get them to do what I want. By now, I always know how they'll react to anything I do or don't do. You wouldn't think that somebody as little as I am can create such a ruckus. All I have to do is cry, or -- if they don't jump fast enough -- really crank up the volume, and they come running. Ah, the fun I have with that game!

I am very proud of my most recent accomplishment: I learned to roll over on my stomach, so I’m not stuck on my back any more. It took a lot of practice, but I finally made it. You should have seen her the first time it happened! I thought she might burst into tears. I never know with her, she can really go wild about things. I also spend quite a bit of my time in my playpen, from where I get to watch her do whatever it is that moms do all day. And when I get lonesome or bored, I just fuss until she comes to talk to me. She’s pretty good about that.

Don't get me wrong, life isn't always a barrel of laughs around here. At my age, I have to deal with what she calls teething. And, let me tell you, it's no fun at all and gets old very fast. You wouldn't believe the pain I have to go through every time one of those hard little white things need to come out of my gums.

Three of them already have shown up, and she says it's only the beginning. I can't imagine what they could possibly be for, but she keeps saying that "pretty soon, I'll be able to eat real food." Whatever that means.

Personally, I am quite content with the bottles and the little jars. I love the yummy stuff like apricots and peaches I get to eat after the green yucky stuff that's "good for you." I don’t see why I need to change any of it. But, again, who asks me?

One thing I know for sure by now: there are a lot of things around this place that look mighty interesting, and that I can't wait to explore. But right now, I am still sort of stuck in one spot. I can't wait to grow enough so I can stand and move around like them. Then my turn will come!

Day 365 -  I guess being one-year old must be some event for grown-ups. They've spent the whole day running around and the dining-room is prepared for a feast. She bought me special clothes, which I don't particularly like (sometimes I wonder what she thinks of when she brings these things home).

There are color paper ribbons hanging from the ceiling (what on earth are they for?), and those round, very light colorful things attached to strings. I've had a ball all day crawling around to catch the end of the strings.  No, no, she says, you'll make them pop!  Make what pop? What does pop mean?  What is she talk__ P O P!  Ouch!  So that's what she meant ...

Guess what? I’m walking now. I can't go very fast, yet, but, boy, when you can walk, you've got it made. You are "outtahere." I just know my life will never be the same again. Mom says hers won't either.

Second birthday - I have become very busy and I can't wait for her to get me out of my crib in the morning. I have full days every day. So many things to do, so little time, what with all those naps she insists I take.

I've learned not to let her push me around as she used to. When I don't feel like doing something, now I just say no. When I’m bored, sometimes I'll yell "No!" just to hear my own voice. It drives her crazy, but it sounds good to me. So I keep on doing it over and over again.

My favorite play area is the kitchen. Who needs a playpen and toys when you have kitchen cabinets? Of course, there are some in the bathroom, too, but, that's on my list of no-no's, or I should say her list of my no-no's. To tell you the truth, that list is so long, I really can't be bothered. I’m afraid she is turning a bit neurotic.

I eat all by myself now. I’m not too good at it yet, but I keep trying. When I was a baby, you know, real little, I used to put my hand in my plate, and they let me. Now, you should hear the fuss. Picky, picky, picky! It's I use a spoon or nothing to eat. Oh, by the way, I have lots of teeth now, so no more jar stuff for me, I eat the same things they do. Just cut up smaller and sort of mashed so I can chew them. I guess it's OK because it's more interesting, but I miss all the fun I had pushing the mushy stuff through my lips, and blowing it all over.

The funnest game is to swish my food around in my plate with my hand and then squeeze it through my fingers. Rubbing it in my hair is pretty neat, too, but I can't really tell how good it looks. They have a fit when I do it. When I get really bored, I throw on the floor what I grabbed between my fingers, and then watch them get mad. Grown-ups seem to have no sense of humor at all.

I can talk now, and I practice constantly. She even complains I overdo it. She is really good with it, though, because she answers me and we practice words together. I already know all the words for all the things all around the house. And I don't get anything I ask for unless I use the right word and say please, instead of pointing with my finger and grunting. She's really getting very demanding.

I never thought life could be so much fun and so busy. Well, gotta go!

Third birthday -  I feel quite important this morning. I am still little, but I am not small any more. I am three years-old today, and I get to start nursery school in two months. I have mixed feelings about that, though, because I like it at home, with her. She says it'll be fun and I'll make new friends and all that, but I am not sure I believe her. Maybe she's just trying to get rid of me.

I have come a long way in the last few months. For one thing, I go on the potty all by myself, and I don't need diapers any more. That's why I can go to nursery school, now. Otherwise, I couldn't.  Well, now, let me think a minute. I think I just figured out how to get out of nursery school if I don't like it...  Hey, am I smart or what?  And they think I don't know what's going on!

Oh, and I also don't use a high chair any more, but a booster seat. It props me up so my arms can reach my plate and I can see what's on it. I know how to use a fork, too. They just have to do the cutting part because I can't use a knife yet.

Another thing I really like, that I discovered years ago when I was little, is books. I have lots of books, square, round (see, I know about shapes), fat, thin, with all sorts of color pictures (I learned colors, too), and fun stories. My very favorites are the ones about Peter Cottontail. I hope they'll never stop reading me stories at bedtime. Even when I am old enough to go to regular school with the big kids. Even when I know every story by heart and can say all the words with them.

She says that a birthday is a person's most important day each year, because that's when everybody gets to “celebrate” you. That’s a hard word, and she had to explain it, but I got it. So today, a bunch of my friends are coming to celebrate me, and we're going to have cake and ice cream, and watch a puppet show video. I love puppets. Happy birthday to me!

Fifth birthday -  Wow, what a day!  I love my birthday. I love other people's, too, but mine is the bestest. First, I found a brand-new bike by the front steps this morning. A big-kid bike, with no training wheels. Then, we went to the zoo. She'd said why don't we skip the party with friends this year, and do something different? I said OK, but I was disappointed because you always get more presents at parties. Guess what? The zoo was sooooo awesome! Grandpa and Grandma came with us, too, and they gave me my own money to buy whatever I wanted. It was my first time there. I liked the monkeys best. I was scared of the tigers when they started fighting over something I couldn't see.

And we got to eat there, the biggest hotdog I had ever seen, and popcorn, and French fries, and ice cream. Even cotton candy.

It was a super day, but my stomach doesn't feel so good right now. I ate too much, and I am tired. Besides, I start kindergarten next Monday, and I am worried. I heard Grandma tell Mommy that "they aren't yours any more once they get on that school bus." I don't know what Grandma meant, but Mom looked sad. Why should I be excited about it, if it makes Mom sad?

I know I have to learn all the things they teach you at school, and it'll be fun to make new friends. But I don’t know the teachers or anybody, and I don't really know what goes on there. She won't be around, and there won't be anybody I know to help me and explain things to me. I am supposed to be a big kid now, but I don't feel like one yet.

Grandma said I should try everything, even if I am scared, because that’s the only way to learn what’s exciting. So I guess I’ll have to at least give it a try.

Besides, I've decided that if I don't like it, I'll just pretend to have a stomach ache or something. I bet Mom will fall for it, and I won't have to go back. And then we can stay home together again, like in the old days.